HOW MANY DOGS DOES IT TAKE
TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?
Dog Responses:
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Dog Responses:
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned-out bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Boxer: Who cares? I can
still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've rescued these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but don't see a light bulb.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Chihuahua
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer:
"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and
massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE
MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
What is a Cat?
- Cats do what they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They're totally unpredictable.
- When you want to play, they want to be alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They expect you to cater to their every whim.
- They're moody.
- They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
- Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
- They can hear a package of food opening 1/2 a block away, but don't hear you in the same room.
- They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
- They growl when they are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to play.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They leave their toys everywhere.
- They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
- They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
-CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've rescued these people from the dark, checked to make sure I haven't missed any, and made just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but don't see a light bulb.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer:
"Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and
massage?"
ALL OF WHICH PROVES, ONCE AGAIN, THAT WHILE DOGS HAVE
MASTERS, CATS HAVE STAFF.
What is a Cat?
- Cats do what they want.
- They rarely listen to you.
- They're totally unpredictable.
- When you want to play, they want to be alone.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They expect you to cater to their every whim.
- They're moody.
- They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
What is a Dog?
- Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.
- They can hear a package of food opening 1/2 a block away, but don't hear you in the same room.
- They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time.
- They growl when they are not happy.
- When you want to play, they want to play.
- When you want to be alone, they want to play.
- They leave their toys everywhere.
- They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss.
- They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you.
-CONCLUSION: They're tiny men in little fur coats.
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